A professional exchange between coworkers.
From: Dan Morris
Sent: Wednesday, July 26, 2006 9:24 AM
To: Pickles
Subject: RE:
Dear Sir,
Your recent proposal of a professional trade agreement in which Daniel Morris and Associates rhythmically strikes the culmination of the hyperbola of your cranium, in return for which Pickles Partners Incorporated delivers a mighty foot-based wallop unto the delicates of Daniel Morris and Associates, is regrettably denied. Thorough analysis of the cost/benefit ratio reveals that the benefits of rhythmic cranial tapping are outweighed egregiously by the costs involved with sumpteresque kicks to the groin. In terms of Return on Investment, projections indicate only a 5% profit margin on a proportional investment of 6000%.
Pickles Partners Inc. is invited to make a more equitable counter-offer, however, at this time and under current conditions, Daniel Morris and Associates must reject the current proposal.
Cheers,
-Daniel Tiberius Fennster-Obelthwaite Hironimus Jennings , Esquire.
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From: Pickles
Sent: Wednesday, July 26, 2006 9:31 AM
To: Dan Morris
Subject: RE:
In response to your ruling on said trade agreement, herein referred to as the “Pact,” Pickles Partners Inc. would like to extend a counter-offer in lieu of the imbalance of said previous Pact. Pickles Partners Inc. maintains its requirements of walloping the delicates of Daniel Morris and Associates, in exchange for which Daniel Morris and Associates will be granted the right to rhythmically strike the culmination of the hyperbola of my cranium AND will receive one free paper clip, the size of which will be determined by the legal team of Pickles Partners Inc. and will be bestowed upon Daniel Morris & Associates at a time and place left to the discretion of said legal team.
Sincerely,
-Pickles
Public Relations & Marketing Coordinator
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From: Dan Morris
Sent: Wednesday, July 26, 2006 9:38 AM
To: Pickles
Subject: RE:
At this time, Daniel Morris & Associates must unfortunately suspend negotiations. Though it is understandable that Pickles Partners Inc. places no higher value on the delicates of Daniel Morris & Associates than that of an indiscriminate paperclip, it must be understood that Daniel Morris & Associates holds said delicates in much higher esteem, early and often as the case may be. In all candor, they are presently being held. In high esteem.
- Dan Morris
Marketing and Advertising Sales Coordinator
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