GNC is a bunch of filthy, scum liars.

A few months back, my roommate got strep throat, on top of a bad respiratory infection/flu type thing. And this thing lingered. Not wanting to catch The Dreaded Lurgi, I spent $29.00 on GNC's house-blend immune system booster, which the kindly Macedonian gentleman behind the counter guaranteed would make me, "Strong like bull, beautiful like tractor."

I took two of those capsules a day, every day, so I could stay healthy. Yes, I took two of them a day just like the bottle said, not on an empty stomach, drinking plenty of water, and do you know why I stopped? I stopped because after a week and half, I got hit with Lurgi Force 10, and was sick non-stop for a freakin' month.

I figured at the time that the sickness had already gotten a hold of me before I started taking GNC's fine brew. I find out now, no, GNC's fine brew is encapsulated bullshit. Because once again, my roommate has brought home the Lurgi, and from the moment he started to complain of feeling unwell, I popped the top on those bad boys and started huffing them down like Kim Kardashian with a tray of morning after pills. I'm going on vacation Saturday. I'm NOT getting sick.

Haha! WRONG! AGAIN! The Lurgi is now flowing from my bowels and seeping from my olfactory crevices. And with it, I'm sure, several grams of corn syrup and food dye masquerading as $29.00 worth of immune system boosting agents.

I'm so going to go sneeze on that Macedonian guy.