Cracked

I cracked yesterday. I was on the phone with Comcast, because I was interested in upgrading my cable so's I can enjoy the NHL playoffs in delicious digital HD. In speaking with the friendly and helpful service person on Comcast's end (this must've been an aberration; most of the time, Comcast phone customer service people are surly, rude, and ignorant of their own services and policies), I learned that it would be an extra $60 per month to add the digital starter package and an HD box, plus installation fees.

Now, on the website, this same package is $29.99 a month. With free installation. For new customers only. I asked if I could get that deal, and found out that not even an agreement with Satan himself could secure it.

My inner 60-year-old came out to play, and I snapped on the one and only friendly and helpful Comcast staffer in the world. I felt bad about it afterward, but my head may have popped like a water balloon had I not.

I said, verbatim, "You know what, screw this. I'm so f***ing tired of cable companies and wireless companies and every other service I subscribe to caring 100% more about new subscribers than me." This is where he interrupted me, but I just kept talking over him. "You want to charge me literally 100% more than a new customer because I've been stupid enough to loyally pay Comcast every month for the past five years."

I've got no excuses, and I won't pretend. I'm old. Maybe not in age, but in mind. These darn kids and their subscriber packages. Why are new subscribers more important to these companies? Why's it OK for them to lose money on new subscribers, but it's not OK to cut existing subscribers any slack? Why do I have to pay an $18 upgrade fee to AT&T Wireless when I renew my contract and get a new phone? Why does my cable bill go up every three months even though channels disappear? Why is it when I want to UPGRADE any services to either of these companies (read: give them more money every month), there are always service fees that go along with it that I wouldn't be paying if I wasn't so foolish as to be loyal.

I get so mad just thinking about it...anyway, I feel bad about yesterday because I ruined that dude's day for no good reason. It's not his fault he works for fiscal rapists. It's not his fault I'm a technology addict.

Point is, anyone know how to steal cable? Because I don't want to give ANY of these people my money anymore.