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I am painfully aware of how much the world has changed since my childhood every time I go grocery shopping and see that there are 10 different styles of Cheerios as opposed to just one.
I want to believe this is progress, but deep down inside, it just makes me more prone to believe I'll end up soothing my once glimmering, freedom-loving soul with bromides from Ann Coulter and Glenn Beck tricking me into believing that My Country was once a more wholesome and righteous land, but has been utterly corrupted by the French and liberals and youth, miserably drinking myself to death with expensive bourbons and whiskies, sitting in a leather chair in a darkened parlor beneath a gun rack and a Don't Tread on Me flag.
But I'll be old and near death, and it'll be OK that my ideals and love for John Stewart and cultural acceptance have been long-since abandoned. And Cheerios will no longer cause me existential crises.
I am painfully aware of how much the world has changed since my childhood every time I go grocery shopping and see that there are 10 different styles of Cheerios as opposed to just one.
I want to believe this is progress, but deep down inside, it just makes me more prone to believe I'll end up soothing my once glimmering, freedom-loving soul with bromides from Ann Coulter and Glenn Beck tricking me into believing that My Country was once a more wholesome and righteous land, but has been utterly corrupted by the French and liberals and youth, miserably drinking myself to death with expensive bourbons and whiskies, sitting in a leather chair in a darkened parlor beneath a gun rack and a Don't Tread on Me flag.
But I'll be old and near death, and it'll be OK that my ideals and love for John Stewart and cultural acceptance have been long-since abandoned. And Cheerios will no longer cause me existential crises.
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