I am the 9.1%: Support Systems and Behavior

Borrowed from jschae.blogspot.com

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I've talked about how first thing after losing my job, I arranged to be the official school courier for my girlfriend's son. That established more than a routine; whether I was aware or not, I had taken the first step in tapping my support system.

If I'd been asked what my support system looked like before I got fired, I wouldn't have known what to say. Typically, I tend to bear my problems internally, and then act out aggressively towards the people in my life--my girlfriend can tell you how successful a recipe for personal satisfaction that is. 

For whatever reason, my reaction in this situation was different. Very straightforward, purely honest, reaching out to those closest to me for support. As if I was weaving a spider web, I called my girlfriend, then my two best friends, then my family, and so on. I didn't broadcast my situation, at least not at first (I didn't start blogging this until a month into it), but I made a point to reach out to the people who've consistently demonstrated their loyalty to me and dedication to our relationship. Without fail, every single person in that grouping gave me what I needed at the time: a shoulder, a voice, an ear or a laugh. The value of such quality people in my life has been immeasurable, and has contributed in no small part to my ability to stay positive and productive.

There's been so much about this experience that's been completely different than any other personal catastrophe I've endured, not least of which has been my atypical response to every moment of it. High-strung would be an accurate description throughout my life. Tightly-wound and short-fused might also apply. I implore any people close to me to go ahead and share their thoughts in the comments. This time, though, none of my responses have fallen in line with my habits of internalization, hyper-criticality, and overreaction. Something's kept me reasoned and measured. Maybe I've grown up, maybe I've learned that time and time again, the only way to make a bad situation worse is to allow immediate emotions to dictate actions. Or, for that matter, I've been reminded of the inherent good in the people I've chosen to surround myself with and that's kept me in check.

The thought did cross my mind to send elaborate floral arrangements to several of my former coworkers with some variation on the theme, "Fuck you! Sideways! With ridiculously large and pointed objects!" spelled out clearly and lit with sparklers. Fortunately, I was able to decide this was neither prudent nor wise with the help of my support network. 

Seriously, though, in the past I've made some spectacularly poor decisions in the heat of reaction. For instance, there was the way I left the first ice rink I managed. After four years, the general manager had different designs on the future of the business that conflicted with my ideas, and after several months of increasing tension, I walked in, delivered a letter of resignation blasting him and his treatment of me and the other employees, his "myopic vision," and "characterless comportment," and also distributed copies to the ownership and the rest of the management staff. On the one hand, I burned every bridge I'd built there, on the other I got to walk away feeling proud of my ten dollar words with a misguided sense of vindication. It's taken me nearly eight years to figure out the folly of what I'd done. Not only did I put my livelihood in danger (luckily, I began working at a different rink immediately), I also branded myself a maniac with my only professional contacts at the time. 

I carried my grudge against that manager for years, until very recently. It took a lot of soul searching to figure out that frankly, I was the douchebag in the scenario. Not because I had conflict with my manager, but because I didn't bother to address him professionally or appropriately throughout the months of conflict. The entire time, I stood fast to a position of I'm-right-you're-wrong, and dedicated myself to "winning." Eventually, it was solely my emotions doing the driving, and of course, they led me down the wrong path. 

Now, I don't want this misunderstood: everyone should have principles, and they should stand by them. I was right in having my vision for the business, but I was wrong in not being open to other visions, especially considering I wasn't the only person making decisions. Furthermore, it's OK to leave a job for the equivalent of irreconcilable differences. If you can't get behind what your company is doing or how your manager chooses to operate, voice your concerns professionally and exit gracefully. But don't make a huge, noxious ass of yourself in the process. It benefits no one; not you, not your manager, not the company, and the damage lasts longer than suspected. 

Righteous indignation is only one trap. Apathy is another. Quietly accepting unacceptable situations is poison. For years, I've done that, and the end result is where I'm sitting today: uncertain and unemployed. The most damage done to my mindset in the office came at the result of not being assertive enough about my career direction, and allowing the simpering condescension of coworkers to invade my mental state. It's up to me to stand up for myself, and I intend to do so more effectively from now on. Offices tend to be stocked with "type A" personalities. Something to remember: "A" is for "asshole." Anyone who proudly refers to themselves as a "type A," and insists on offering unsolicited advice and nonconstructive criticism suffers from a horrific disease that is best treated with avoidance and dismissive responses.

Why am I carrying on about my ridiculous professional failures in the past? Because the most important cog in your support system is you. Using all your experiences, mistakes, triumphs and everything in between, it's up to you to figure out appropriate responses and reactions, and the right steps to continue in a beneficial direction. A great quote to help get through those days when the office dogma is stifling and the people around you are sapping your will to go on:

“Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes.” — William Gibson

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I am the 9.1%: Odd Jobs Don't Stand Still

(Image borrowed from TheGamingLiberty.com)

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Inevitably, during the course of a job hunt, there will be down time. There will be days, maybe even weeks during which not a single job opening will look right. Today, for instance, I searched through seven different job boards from 8:00 a.m. through 11:00 a.m., and came across a total of two jobs that fit my experience and career goals. By 11:00, though, I was merely duplicating efforts and finding the same listings I saw at 8:00. When this becomes persistent, what do you do?

For one thing, this is exactly why I give myself deadlines throughout the day. I set aside three hours a day for job searching. Three hours isn't some arbitrary number I just decided upon, either. After a few days of relentless job searching directly following my termination, I observed that by the three hour mark, any listings I was finding were repeats. I'd either already applied to them, or I'd seen them and filtered them out for fit. If this starts happening early into my three hour job hunt block of the day, I switch gears towards more unconventional means.

When the standard job boards stop working, I roll over, in order, to these methods:

1. Go directly to the websites of companies and organizations you respect. Most modern businesses post jobs on their websites. This is a good, focused approach if you have a list of preferred employers in mind. Learn to live with disappointment, though, when their listings are thin or even empty.
2. Troll the temp agencies. Just like most modern employers, temp agencies post openings on their websites. I'm not above resorting to data entry or warehouse work if I have to pay my mortgage while looking for something else. Go straight to the home pages of local and national temp services and start looking for something to get you by. I like Manpower, and I've had luck with them in the past.
3. Pound the pavement. Get old fashioned, print up some resumes, and walk into local businesses you'd like to work for. This is bold, and perhaps frowned upon by some places. In fact, I've gotten yelled at for doing this and nearly chased from the premises at one office. On the flip side, I've also gotten jobs and freelance gigs this way in the past. As a matter of fact, I started my first career out of college by doing this (Zamboni Driver/Ice Rink Management). Frankly, a decade ago, this kind of approach wasn't at all strange. Anymore it's a bit risky and perhaps awkward, but like I said in a previous post: once the bottom falls out, who cares about risk? 

I also take some time to start looking for unconventional jobs. Odd jobs (there's a reason I picked that photo at the top!), as the case may be. If I'm going to resort to something outside of my field to bring in a paycheck while I wait out the economy, I may as well resort to something fun, or something no one else I know has done. The best place to find these kinds of positions is the print want ads in local, regional or commuter newspapers. Some of the more unique jobs I've found, applied to, and interviewed for out of the old fashioned want ads:

• Tiger Groomer 
• Unbeknownst to me, a traveling circus was headquartered not far from my home at the time. I found the ad in the commuter paper, and it had just those two words and a phone number. How do you not call that? I interviewed with Gunther, a hairy chested German, met his eight Siberian tigers, and decided that I didn't want the job after I received an offer for $250 a week during an open ended engagement in Jakarta, with the warning that, "Tigers are dangerous animals. If you stick your finger in the cage, don't expect to get it back." True story.
• Marine Weed Harvester
• My county has quite a few small lakes, and the Public Works department operates several weed harvesting boats throughout the summer to clear some of the more overgrown lakes and make them more boat and recreation friendly. I could've been the guy who drove the boat. This is one of those instances where my college diploma probably did more harm than good in the application process.
• Canoe Tour Guide
• Along with all the lakes, my county also has several miles of rivers and creeks. There's a market for canoe lessons and day tours. I honestly don't know why I didn't get this job at the time. Probably because when I was 22, I was even more arrogant than I am now, and I'm sure that showed in job interviews. Also, no one likes a fat guy in a canoe, it's just impractical.

I know that throughout this series, I've been stressing that there's no point in applying to jobs you wouldn't want or be good at. This is different. This is not a career choice, it's a job to fill your days and get you some cash flow. For me, unemployment benefits don't cut the mustard, and even a part time job would put more money in my pocket for bills. The benefit of these unconventional jobs is that they're often more fun than anything else, and they leave you time and flexibility to keep hunting for more work. Aside from that, it's entertaining.

Something else to consider in times like these is individual enterprise. Take that step into entrepreneurship if you have an idea, a concept, a product...anything. Write that screenplay or manuscript. If you "don't know how," do some research. It's not that hard to track down emails these days. Reach out to your favorite authors or directors or business people with two direct questions about how to get a project off the ground. Failing that, type "how do I launch a product," or "how do I get published" into Google, and start reading. Grab a notebook and scribble down some points, too. Why wait? Today's the day to start chasing those whimsies you've put off forever. When else will you have this kind of time at your disposal? Most important during this time is to never stand still. Stay focused, keep momentum, go forward.

In the meantime, here are some links to some podcasts and articles that have been encouraging and motivational for me:

The Joe Rogan Experience with guest Kevin Smith: I happen to be a fan of both of these guys. They're both great examples of guys who said, "This is what I'm going to do with my life," and then did exactly that extremely successfully. This particular episode is long, but there's a lot of gold speckled throughout.

The Cult of Done: Great manifesto for staying on task and moving forward.

11 Famous People Who Were in the Completely Wrong Career at Age 30

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I am the 9.1%: The Beginning

(Image Borrowed from www.thefrugalhome.com)

This Friday will mark week four of my unemployment. It will also be week four of active job searching and zero hours of paid work. This is significant in that it means I am officially contributing to the figure of national unemployment. I am the 9.1%.

I've never really lost a job before this. I got laid off from a temp job once, but that's not really the same; it was temporary in the first place, so I was expecting it to end. Interestingly, I've been fairly numb through this point. Maybe it's the fact that throughout the course of my professional life (the past decade), exploring the job market has been a cruel, cutthroat, harsh journey with no finite destination, so the idea that I'm fundamentally a commodity to be purchased or liquidated by my employer isn't foreign to me. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I fully expected the day to come when I was suddenly jobless, because it's just the way of the world anymore.

I say I've been numb to it, because overall that's been my average state of being when examining the situation. Sure, I've gone through the requisite stages of anger, frustration, terror, sadness, denial, malaise, but the overwhelming majority of my time has been spent prioritizing and compartmentalizing my life. I schedule each day into blocks of productivity. Wake up at quarter to seven, take my girlfriend's son to school. Two hours job hunting. Four hours painting my living room. One hour tending to household repairs neglected over the past seven years. Visit career counselor. One more hour job hunting. Read news. Read book. Repeat in no particular order daily, speckling in other duties as assigned. Not really too different from having a job.

Staying busy this way has kept me from slipping into my standard mode of obsessive and ultimately destructive analysis. Typically, when confronted with an unacceptable life situation, I review the situation time and time again in my thoughts, examining it from every angle, looking for a solution. Universally, the result is that I waste months or even years probing the situation, but not moving forward in any productive sort of solution. Eventually, a convenient escape will present itself and I'll pursue it whether or not it's an improvement.

That's exactly what led me to my current situation. My previous job had gotten stale in certain ways that were no longer acceptable to me. Professional advancement within the organization kept coming at the expense of my career goals. The system was pigeonholing me in a direction I was loathe to go, on top of a daily commute in excess of four hours total. I gradually became blind to the upsides of my position and overwhelmed by the drawbacks. For the year and a half prior to leaving, I spent 100% more time looking for a way out than I did on improving the job. Then one day in May, I found another job much closer to home, but doing the exact same kind of work I no longer wanted to do. And then in September, I got fired.

Was I ineffective and sloppy in my work? Did I choose a position I wasn't well suited to? Or was the position misrepresented to me during the interview process? For that matter, were my new employers incapable of communicating expectations or giving even the slightest ounce of direction? Perhaps in my new position I was working for a group of terminally disorganized people. To some degree, the response to each of these is, "yes." The one real, honest gripe I have is that there wasn't a single conversation about fixing whatever the issues may have been. Instead, I was given four and a half months with no feedback whatsoever and then I was let go.

Actually, it's completely inaccurate to say I only had one real, honest gripe. I was hired as a project manager. The most complicated project I was assigned during my four months was a power point presentation. Which I did without the slightest bit of verve, style or detail, but with plenty of kwality (yes, with a k). Because I have a bad attitude that if you assign me piddlyshits, I will return piddlyshits to you. I'm working on that attitude, for the record.

Interestingly enough, my unemployment and the Occupy Wall Street phenomenon have been virtually concurrent, and I've been following along. What I find most interesting is the way that people who are against these protestors are completely occupied by them. On Facebook, on Twitter, even Google+, every third item is some incredibly inflamed rant against them. Occupy Wall Street seems to have been far more successful as "Occupy Conservative Armchair Pundits." And of course, that's one of the goals of a social movement: get other people to talk about you. In that regard, bravo Occupy Wall Street. Now try to stop spitting on people and dropping deuces on police cars...it's not helping. Rise above, then rise against. That's how you get people like me to support you. I'll come right out and say it, too, that I'm pretty much in agreement with everything the Occupiers are angry about.

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