Like Napoleon, short and angry

Taxes? Really? Your big issue is taxes, America? You're upset that you may have to pay more taxes? That's your big issue in this election, is it?

Nevermind that we're fighting two foreign wars with no end in sight (and please point out to me any other time in U.S. history that taxes were lowered in time of war), our economy is at a holding point just north of the vortex in the toilet bowl, our health care system is broken, all of our futures are mortgaged to the national debt, and the past seven and a half years have seen the admitted and implicit abrogation of constitutional civil rights (i.e. phone taps, limitation of due process...). More important is that you don't want your taxes to go up.

Taxes. Seriously. All you patriots, Americans, don't want to pay more taxes. Don't want to drop one more single penny towards supporting the troops you send to fight the wars, or to cover their medical bills when they come home torn and broken. Not a thin dime to help the government (which is supposed to be of the people, by the people, and for the people...we've always had a problem recognizing the responsibilities in the "of" and "by" portions, haven't we) work towards doing anything close to maintenance on the broken economy. Or a few fins towards guiding health care toward stability and sustainability. And, indeed, lets ignore the issue of the national debt completely, because it's downright un-American to not be in debt, right?

Nope, no sir. Not one more dollar out of your pockets. Because American Patriotism is actually just Rugged Individualism--stay the fuck outta my way, I'll take care of me and you take care of you. Funny thing is, that's not how reality works. True patriots are willing to stand together, to support one another until everyone is standing on their feet, and if need be, eat a shit sandwich or two for the good of the country, their countrymen, and society in general.

To paraphrase myself from a previous entry, because I'm just the kind of arrogant prick who does that sort of thing, we can stand united as a country to find a way to fix our problems, which are legion, or continue down the rugged individualist path towards collapse and failure.

And we can bicker about taxes. Like assholes.

A Message From Sarah Palin

The following is a satirical, fictional letter not actually written by Alaska Governor Sarah Palin.

Dear American Voter,

My name is Sarah Palin, governor of Alaska and candidate for Vice President of this grand and honorable land I Like to call America. I’m writing this letter to you as an opportunity for you to get to know me and what I stand for. Some might say I’m a maverick because I want to break through “the issues” and let you, Joe Six Pack and Jane Hockeymom, find out about me as a person, not a politician. You might notice as you read that several words are hyperlinked (I had to look that up, too *wink*), and I encourage you to click on them, because the internets never lie.

This land—America—is just the bee’s knees. I’d say “The United States of America,” but that wouldn’t give credit to Mexico and Canada, which really are like states 51 and 52. Anywho, If there’s one thing I support and know about, it’s patriotic energy self-sufficiency. In fact, I’ve been working with our Canadian neighbors to build The Pipeline of Patriotism, bringing some of that Alaska Downhome American Heartland vibe right through the pristine Yukon and British Columbian wilderness. I’m sure if there’s one thing those Canadians could use, it’s a good healthy dose of that can-do American attitude. Since the time of our Founding Fathers, this great land of ours has followed a righteous path, and I certainly won’t stand in the way of our destiny.

What is that destiny? Well, We’re the hardest working people in the world, as I’m sure you and Jane can attest to (*wink*)! And to take care of you guys, the fine workers of this country, John McCain and I are going to lower taxes to stimulate job growth. How does lowering taxes stimulate jobs? It just does, silly! What I love about my core—Americans—Joe Six Pack and Jane Hockeymom—is that they don’t ask questions.

I think there’s probably a whole other continent called America…but that’s not the America I’m talking about.

Well, ta-ta for now. Can’t wait to chat again—from the Oval Office!

Yours truly,
-Sarah Palin
Not really. Again: satirical, fictional, not actually written by Sarah Palin.

Laziness

I feel horrible that I haven't written anything here in over a month. Also, I feel horrible that I haven't drawn a new Benny since freakin' May.

I'm just sooooooo lazy.

George Carlin's Final Interview

So I'm reading George Carlin's final interview (by Jay Dixit for Psychology Today) and I caught a few excerpts that made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up a little bit. You know, when you identify with a statement so completely that it almost ruptures your sense of individuality?

Here they are:

"Abraham Maslow said the fully realized man does not identify with the local group. When I saw that, it rang another bell. I thought: bingo! I do not identify with the local group, I do not feel a part of it. I really have never felt like a participant, I've always felt like an observer. Always. I only identified this in retrospect, way after the fact, that I have been on the outside, and I don't like being on the inside. I don't like being in their world. I've never felt comfortable there; I don't belong to that. So, when he says the "local group," I take that as meaning a lot of things: the local social clubs or fraternal orders, or lodges or associations or clubs of any kind, things where you sacrifice your individual identity for the sake of a group, for the sake of the group mind. I've always felt different and outside..."

"...I don't really feel like a member of the human race, to tell you the truth. I know I am, but I really don't. All the definitions are there, but I don't really feel a part of it. I think I have found a detached point of view, an ideal emotional detachment from the American experience and culture and the human experience and culture and human choices.

I'm not an angry person, just very disappointed and contemptuous of my fellow humans' choices—and on stage those feelings sometimes are exaggerated for a theatric stage—you're on a stage you have an audience of 2500 or 3000 people: you need to project the feelings, the emotions it's heightened, and people mistake it for a personal anger but it's more dissatisfaction, disappointment and contempt for these things we've settled for."

JD: So let me latch onto that feeling. You're grabbing somebody and you're saying, "Don't you see it?" But if you really don't care about America, then why are you doing it? Why are you on stage? Is it just because you want to express yourself? Do you hope you can influence people in some way?

"You've hit on the contradiction, and it's one I don't understand the resolution to, if there is one...
But yeah, of course I care. Of course I care. My daughter has pinned me on that. She says of course you care, can't you hear it? And I say yeah yeah yeah, but they gotta prove it to me first. Show me you care people and then I'll let some of it out; right now I just want to scold you a little bit. "

Read the whole interview here

Antioch residents’ Mother’s Day festivities bring joy

Originally published in the May 14 edition of the Antioch Journal
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Antioch residents’ Mother’s Day festivities bring joy

By DAN MORRIS

ANTIOCH – Moms and their families took turns twirling on the Zipper, spinning in the Tea Cup ride and munching on funnel cakes during the annual Mother's Day Carnival in Antioch, which is sponsored by the 885 Civic Club.

Residents were treated to a taste of Coney Island at the corner of Route 83 and Orchard Street in downtown Antioch during the festivities last week.

The atmosphere at the carnival was thick with family fun. Moms, dads and kids darted from rides to games to cotton candy vendors. Smiles, laughter and excitement abounded at every turn.

Becky and Shawn Hiemstra brought their sons Sam and Jacob to the festivities for the boys' first carnival. Both watched as 4-year-old Sam spun through the turns on the Tornado roller coaster, all smiles as his gleeful shouts rang out.

For Becky, motherhood is all about joy.

“I love it,” she said.

Jill and Bob Hughes brought their kids Lauren and Jake to the carnival for the second time. While 4-year-old Jake twirled on the Tea Cups, 1-year-old Lauren anxiously waited her turn in her father's arms.

What's the carnival all about for the Hughes family?

“Rides for the kids,” said Bob, motioning to a grinning Lauren. “She loves it.”

“I'm lucky that I have two really great kids,” said Jill, before heading off with the family to win some prizes at the Bull's Eye game and filling Jake and Lauren up to the brim with corn dogs and elephant's ears.

There was no shortage of variety at the carnival, which offered many rides, including a carousel and Ferris wheel. The event offered something for the casual carnival cruiser as well as the hard-core adrenaline junkie.

Joe LaFleur, Chairman of 885 Civic Club's Carnival Committee, manned the ticket booth as thrill seekers queued up for their favorite rides.

“Every dime that we make goes into the town,” LaFleur said as he doled out tickets.

The carnival is the club's largest fundraiser, providing for four $1,000 scholarships that are given to students at Antioch High School and Lakes High School. It also provides for other charitable initiatives including PADS, Open Arms Food Pantry and the Make-A-Wish Foundation.

Windy City Amusements provided equipment and staff for the event. The company has been involved with the carnival since it's inception more than two decades ago.

The 885 Civic Club was chartered in 1965 as a nonprofit group to raise money and support the Antioch community. It takes its name from the club's original meeting place address: 885 Main Street.

Now, the club meets the first Wednesday of every month in a member's home. Along with the carnival, 885 Civic Club also plans social events throughout the year, such as Halloween parties and picnics.

The next carnival, however, is 12 months away. It is a tradition many Antioch families continue to turn to every Mother's Day.

Librarian Celebrates 20 Years of Service

Originally published in the May 14 edition of the Lake Villa Journal
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Librarian Celebrates 20 Years of Service

By DAN MORRIS

LAKE VILLA – Lake County was a very different place 20 years ago. Gurnee Mills was nothing more than a few square miles of swamp land, Grand Avenue meandered between corn and soybean fields, and Lake Villa boasted a population of not quite 3,000 people.

Amidst all these changes, one thing remained constant – The circulation desk at the Lake Villa District Library had Cindy McBrady behind it.

“I can’t believe it,” McBrady said of working for two decades at the library. “It all kind of has gelled in the past 20 years.”

McBrady began her career at the library as a circulation clerk on May 9, 1988. Since then, she’s risen through the ranks to become the assistant head of circulation services.

The job came out of a hot tip from her mother-in-law.

“[My mother-in-law] had a friend whose son was coming to apply, and she said, ‘No, no, no. My daughter-in-law would be better for this,’” recounted McBrady. The rest is history.

Before working at the library, McBrady taught as a substitute teacher at Lake Villa Intermediate School (now Palombi School) for a year. She then moved into speech therapy for two years. She then took some time away from the professional world to be a full-time mom.

When she decided to return to work, the opportunity at the library was too good to pass by, she said.

“I worked at the college library; I worked at the high school library. So, when this job came open it was like the perfect fit for me,” McBrady said.

Growing up in Antioch, McBrady was a voracious reader. She would spend hours reading. And she constantly checked out books, she said.

“I’ve always loved the library,” McBrady said. “I’ve always got a book with me.”

During her daily work routine, the veteran librarian manages the interlibrary loan program, administrates databases, and above all, caters to patrons at the circulation counter.

The past 20 years of service provide ample evidence of McBrady’s passion for sharing books, and encouraging children to read. Her manner, though, renders an undeniable enthusiasm for her work.

“I just love working with the kids,” she said when asked about her favorite part of the job.

For many, two decades mark the denouement in the story of their career. McBrady is still working up to her climax.

Instead of focusing on years past, or fading into retirement, she’s still taking things one day at a time.

In terms of what’s next, the librarian replies she’s staying put for the next several years, aside from next Saturday, when she’s picking up her daughter from graduation ceremonies in Madison, Wis.

Since 1988, many things came and went – Seinfeld, VCRs and the fall of the Soviet Union to name a few. Unwavering, McBrady still stands ready, book in hand, for the families of Lake Villa.

Library hosts The Day of the Children

This one was on the Front Page of the May 7 Round Lake Journal. Front page, baby!
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Library hosts The Day of the Children to promote literacy

By DAN MORRIS

ROUND LAKE – More than 30 families gathered at the Round Lake Area Public Library on April 27 to participate in El Día de los Niños (also referred to as Día), which means The Day of the Children, a national celebration to promote literacy.

Toddlers to 10-year-olds gathered to hear Kay Elmsley Weeden tell stories, and they also sang songs in Spanish and English. The crowd listened to tales of Ferdinando, the bull who preferred sniffing flowers to bullfighting, and sang about elephants balancing on spider webs.

As the children sang and listened, Weeden invited them to become bulls and elephants, stamping the ground and swaying on gossamer. Thirty pendulous pachyderms perched precipitously in the spider’s web, then became a herd of Ferdinandos sniffing forget-me-nots.

Weeden, a professional storyteller for more than 20 years, began her involvement with Día six years ago. Her specialty is presenting bilingual programs in Spanish and English to promote learning multiple languages and foster respect for diversity.

“Día focuses on promoting the culture and heritage of a family,” Weeden said. “Whether Spanish speaking or English speaking, it’s about bringing families together around books.”

The event began with a traditional song called “Un Elefante se Balanceaba” (“A Balancing Elephant”) followed by a classic children’s story, “El Cuento de Ferdinando” (“The Story of Ferdinand”) by Munro Leaf. Weeden then led the children in the song “Flaquita Mosquita” (“Skinny Fly”) and handed out drums, maracas, castanets and tambourines until the room seemed to be full of rather large and loud mosquitoes.

The first Día event took place April 30, 1997. Children’s author Pat Mora learned of the Mexican tradition of celebrating April 30 as The Day of the Children during a radio interview at the University of Arizona in Tucson in March 1996 and wanted to celebrate the event.

According to Mora’s Web site, www.patmora.com/dia/dia_history.htm, the Mexican tradition grew out of the 1925 World Conference for the Wellbeing of Children, which took place in Switzerland.

Mora, along with some faculty members of the University of Arizona and other organizations planned an event to celebrate Día throughout 1996. The inaugural Día took place in Santa Fe, N.M. Events also took place in Arizona and Texas.

Día sprouted from Mora’s passion for literature and writing, as well as her desire to spread “bookjoy” to kids and families throughout the country and across cultural lines.

Since then, Día has expanded across the United States, reaching more communities each year.

“It has grown by leaps and bounds throughout the country,” Weeden said.

Elena Lara and Maggie Rodriguez of the Round Lake Area Public Library organized the local event, which is sanctioned by the American Library Association. The Library hosts several child and family oriented programs, including Día.

“It's about the kids,” Lara said. “[And it's about] getting the parents involved and to read to their children. This is one of the biggest events that promotes that.”

A Game to Remember

Originally published in the April 17 issue of the Graylsake Journal
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A game to remember

By DAN MORRIS

GRAYSLAKE – In an epic showdown April 12 at Grayslake Central High School, David slew Goliath as the Grayslake Police Department beat the Grayslake Fire Department 64-53 in an annual Basketball Showdown game to benefit the Hero’s Fund.

For the first time in the game’s four-year history, the mighty Grayslake firefighters fell to the city’s police officers, despite having an eight-player advantage.

Breaking out to a quick lead with 10 unanswered points, the Grayslake police officer never lost the lead.

“It’s the first time, but we’ll see about next year,” said Capt. Jon Cokefair of the fire department.

Fun seemed to be had by all, and the atmosphere was one of friendly competition.

Before the game, kids shot baskets with the teams, and plenty of good-natured ribbing went back and forth between players. After tip-off, fans in the stands blew horns, had silly-string fights and cheered.

Signs in the crowd declared, “No. 31 is our block captain!” and “Cokefair For President.”

Master of Ceremonies Greg Koeppen of Medleys In Motion DJ Service provided play-by-play for the game and kept the crowd riled up, calling out raffle winners and occasionally taunting players through the PA system.

Koeppen and Medleys In Motion have been involved with the showdown since its inception.

“My dad was a firefighter, and as a company, Medleys In Motion has always tried to support the community,” Koeppen said. “We’ve been around for 11 years, and the community’s always been good to us, so we like to give back.”

A crowd of more than 200 reached into their pockets, and between admissions, the 50/50 drawing and raffle tickets for prizes donated from several local businesses, more than $2,500 was raised. Grayslake High School Boosters also raised $275 to plant a tree in honor of former firefighter Mike Dertz, who died in 2004 from cancer.

“The first game, four years ago, was dedicated to [Dertz], and we raised money for his kids,” Cokefair said.

The original showdown provided scholarships for their education funds.

Today, the Hero’s Fund goes toward providing scholarships to students from Grayslake Central, Grayslake North and Warren high schools. Money raised at last year’s game was enough to provide five $500 scholarships this year.

Roughly 20 students from each school applied for scholarships, each of whom submitted an essay describing how an emergency-services professional has influenced them.

In a ceremony at half time, Cokefair awarded this year’s recipients with their certificates. The recipients were Andrew Trahan and Sarah Wimmer (Grayslake North), Chelsea Dertz and Chelsey Wagner (Grayslake Central) and Rebecca Lutz (Warren).

This year’s showdown provides scholarships for the class of 2009. Funds beyond the scholarships are donated to families of police officers or firefighters who have suffered catastrophic injuries.

When all was said and done, Cokefair mopped his brow and said, “It’s fun! We enjoy doing it. People come out and have a good time, and we help out some kids.”

It seems a safe bet that next year, Grayslake’s bravest and finest will bring their A game.

Church Comes to Town

Might as well post here, as I'm not exactly generating any blog-specific content.

Originally printed in the April 17 Grayslake Journal
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Church comes to town

By DAN MORRIS

LIBERTYVILLE – More than 200 Greek Orthodox stewards celebrated the consecration of the new St. Demetrios Greek Orthodox Church in Libertyville Sunday, April 13.

In an official door-opening ceremony, His Eminence Metropolitan Iakovos of Chicago presided with the Rev. Cosmas Halekakis, Presbyter of St. Demetrios. The celebrants performed a brief service in the adjacent Fellowship hall, then led the congregation in a procession to the doors of the new building. Iakovos then performed a traditional door-opening ceremony and led the crowd in for the first liturgy in the new house of worship.

“Christian brothers and sisters, now is the time to open the doors of the new St. Demetrios Church,” Halek-akis said.

The new church represents the culmination of 25 years of planning and organization. St. Demetrios Parish bought the land at 1400 N. O’Plaine Road in Libertyville in 1983 as the congregation outgrew its facilities at North Avenue and Glen Flora in Waukegan.

During the intervening years, the property was used for the annual St. Demetrios Festival, a celebration of Greek culture and the parish’s largest fundraising event.

“Its taken time. Six years ago, we formed the building committee and things really got rolling,” Parish Council treasurer Bob Morris said. “We brought in architects and contractors and broke ground about two years ago.”

Christ Kamages, the architect behind The Monastery of the Theotokos in Dunlap, Calif., and The Cathedral of Panagia in Toronto, Ontario, designed the new building. Topped by a dramatic golden dome and cross rising 75 feet from the ground, the church dominates the landscape and is visible from I-94.

Covering 9,000 square feet, the St. Demetrios sanctuary offers seating for 500. It represents a traditional Byzantine cross-in-square design, reminiscent of the Hagia Sophia in Istanbul. Inside, the walls and dome are white, with ornate wood and gilt fixtures for the altar and sacristy.

St. Demetrios parish was founded in 1929 as the spiritual community for many Greek immigrants who settled in the Waukegan and North Chicago area. The new church is a touchstone occasion for the parish, which spent much of its early history in search of a home.

The Greek community blossomed in the early 20th century, settling around 22nd Avenue in North Chicago. Faith played a major part in their culture, and they would gather in each others’ homes to celebrate holy days and liturgical feasts. The first formal services presided over by a priest began in 1925 and still took place in private homes.

Illinois chartered St. Demetrios on Aug. 7, 1929. The first parish council raised enough funds to buy a small lot, but the consequences of the Great Depression delayed its plans to build. From 1931 to 1943, the parish rented facilities at Ebenezer Congregational church for $20 a month.

In 1942, the congregation raised enough funds to buy the Armory Building on County Street. Renovations were made, and the church was consecrated in 1943.

The community quickly outgrew the old Armory Building, and new land was bought on the corner of Glen Flora and North Avenue in Waukegan in 1957.

Ground was broken for a new building in 1959. On July 4, 1960, the doors to St. Demetrios’ first real home were opened, 35 years after the first Greek Orthodox liturgies took place in living rooms of the area’s original Greek settlers.

Now a thriving congregation of more than 200 families, the community of St. Demetrios continues its 83-year history. And with its spectacular new building officially open, all eyes seem to be on the future.

“St. Demetrios Festival is coming up in July,” said Morris. “And anyone can come.”

Not so short, not so sweet.

As a child, I was pretty happy. Carefree, for the most part. I can't say the same thing as an adult. My perennial state as an adult in America is one of fatigue. It's a harsh existence we have as individual adults here. Should life be easy? Probably not; I'm more apt to agree with people who say you need to work for your due. But, as someone who's worked hard both mentally and physically to get to a point of earning a slightly above average income, I'd have to say that existence in our economy is still a struggle. And after struggling for real independence for the past eight years, fatigue overwhelms me. Fatigue which is magnified by the knowledge that the struggle is not over, and most likely never will be. The struggle is on so many different fronts, that my paycheck is honestly the least of my concerns.

Let's hasten to the point. I'm tired.

I'm tired of being insured by companies that are not interested in my health or my safety. Companies who spend more time, effort, and money on not insuring me. Companies who we all (those of us who are "lucky" enough to have employer-provided health insurance) pay to cover our health care, yet go out of their way to do the exact opposite of that. Why is it even an option for an insurance company to deny services? As it stands, we're paying for a dice roll, not "insurance."

I'm tired of the "fend for yourself," or "what's mine is mine" attitude so many Americans have. What is so abhorrent about investing in the community as opposed to investing in yourself? Yes, people should work for their due. Yes, people should earn what they have. In terms of luxury. What about necessities? Is our military privatized? Our police and firefighters? I've recently heard the following in discussions about socialized medicine: "Why should I pay for your healthcare? Why should you pay for mine? It's only fair that everyone pays for their own." Anyone objecting to socialized medicine on the basis of that argument needs to do some research; that's how our system works now. You pay into your HMO or PPO, a fund which goes towards covering you and everyone else in your plan. In any case, I'm not advocating socialized medicine; I'm advocating finding a fix to the mess we're in, whatever that may be. We're a nation of individuals divided by our self-interest. We're too concerned with what's mine and not what's ours. A gentle reminder--the motto of our great nation is E Pluribus Unum; Out of Many, One. We can admit we're part of something bigger than ourselves, that we are not whole simply operating as individuals surrounded by other individuals, or we can be united only in collapse and failure.

I'm tired of being afraid. We have a culture of fear. There's so much to be afraid of that I'm afraid to think about it. It's not unlikely that a round of layoffs could land any one of us in the unemployment line. Getting sick, that's terrifying. Even if insured, it'll cost more than expected, and there will be a fight for the coverage. What about inflation? The collapse of the dollar? The ruins of Social Security? Will my generation even be able to afford to retire? Will I be in debt for the rest of my life? Where will the terrorists strike next? Frankly, the current administration and the mainstream media have done a great job of controlling us through fear. We make our decisions in life based on consequences that have been invented to scare us into compliance. What happened to hope? Has it been squashed out of us completely?

I'm tired of everything costing so damn much. Housing, utilities, gas, milk, bread, cigarettes. Inflation is out of control. In constant dollars, wages are going down. People are making less money than five years ago. Not because companies are paying less per se, but because the dollar is almost worthless. We don't have buying power, we exist on credit lines, and are forced into debt to survive. Everyone I personally know carries debt, and not irresponsible debt. Debt to pay for education, housing, survival. It's downright un-American to be financially stable.

I'm tired of not being able to fix any of it. The corporations that control our debt are the same ones that control our law makers. Futility is the word on Capitol Hill, and futility is the attitude of the people. Getting anything done that would in some way hurt industry, or have a perceived negative impact on industry, is impossible.

There's nowhere else--nowhere good--to take this commentary. It's a downward spiral. We need to fix these problems, and not just leave it to Washington to figure out. It's our job, our duty to ourselves to think about this, and unify over our collective hope to survive. If nothing else, we need to unify in objection to the lack of control any one of us has.